Helping Others Through Grief
Often we are caught off guard, not knowing how to help someone who is grieving. We’ve been taught to send a card, give a hug and a word of encouragement, or perhaps even send over a casserole. These things are all wonderful and important, but it’s the months and sometimes even years after the loss that a grieving person can feel alone and forgotten about.
Here are some practical things I’ve learned in helping someone else through their grief journey:
- Don’t avoid. Even if you don’t know what to say, a smile and a hug can be so welcome and appreciated.
- Don’t be afraid to cry in front of them, and let them feel comfortable to cry in front of you. It’s a natural response and so important to the healing process.
- Don’t assume they don’t want to talk about their loved one. Lots of times they may want to go down memory lane, or hear how much you miss their loved one.
- Don’t feel like you have to have an answer for their questions. Sometimes they just need to talk things out, and have a good listening ear.
- Send a note of encouragement after the fact. A month, two months, 6 months, etc. Let them know you are thinking about them and praying for them, and keep them on your prayer list.
- Invite them for dinner or coffee. But if they say no the first few times, don’t give up. Sometimes they don’t feel like doing anything at the beginning, but may appreciate that invitation later on.
- Find ways to bless the person by asking if you can pick them up for an event, rake the leaves in their yard, take them grocery shopping, etc. Providing for practical needs can be such a blessing to a person going through grief, who may not even know what they need.
- Be specific when you offer help. Although it’s nice to know that someone will help with “whatever” is needed, it’s hard for the person going through grief to make those needs known.
